Fantasies have to be unrealistic, because the moment, the second that you get what you seek, you don't, you can't want it anymore. In order to continue to exist, desire must have its objects perpetually absent. It's not the "it" that you want. It's the fantasy of "it". So, desire supports crazy fantasies
Resilience is the keyword, all that matters when life keeps on knocking you out and letting you fall without a protection. If the balance between going down and getting up is positive, then you will be one of the 20 % of people who believe in their own strenght and resposibility.