The fear of judgment and seeking approval have stopped Charlie in his tracks. That hand could have gone up, and his self-esteem would have gone up with it too.

It is no wonder that we are oriented towards “not doing” rather than “doing” in order to achieve satisfaction. Our whole educational system, school, family and work goes in that direction.

A little time ago, there was a discussion going on on the radio about a study, according to which each of us hears the expression “do not do this … otherwise this will happen …” during our adolescence 16,000 times.

At work mistakes are punished, thus reinforcing conformism and crushing creativity.

It is no wonder that Charlie did not participate even though he knew the answers. Each of us has a little Charlie within himself.

We choose to be motionless to avoid risks.

We choose or “do not choose” in order to keep the approval of others.

We choose to “not choose” so not to be ridiculed by the mass.

As this happens, we forget that the answers are within us and we convince ourselves that “we do not know”; and that is how a senseless search begins.

Later on in the film, Professor Anderson answers the question: “Why is it that nice people go out with the wrong people?” 

“We accept the love we think we deserve”, so your relationship with others has nothing to do with it, and neither has outer beauty. Instead, what influences meetings in life, relationships that we bond with others and even when we will get paid is only and simply how much love we feel for ourselves.

Therefore there is no senseless search, if we want to know if others accept us, we should ask ourselves:

Do I accept myself?

If we are curious to know what others hate about us, we should ask ourselves: What do I hate about myself?

Self-esteem is the mirror of past and future results. That is why, if you do not solve an issue, you’ll have a great weight to carry. When you begin to resolve these conflicts, you open up unimagined scenarios.

Start raising that hand and shout that you exist to the world. Give answers, even if they are wrong, because don’t forget that, unlike humans, the Superior Universe responds in creative ways. In this fascinating place, mistakes are rewarded.

Time expands and there are no comparisons, men are all the same and different at the same time, but diversity is a value.

Here the purpose is not to make money, but to become wiser.

Finally here, where the laws of man do not govern, but those of Creation. The questions constantly change and the answers are never the same.

Fear has no reason to exist, because there is no judgment. Remember that here, “We are infinite“.


“… and in case I don’t see ya

good afternoon, good evening and good night!”…

(The Truman Show)


Buy the film

Buy the recommended book

"The Perks of Being a Wallflower" A film by Stephen Chbosky with Logan Lerman, Emma Watson, Paul Rudd. USA, 2012

"Six Pillars of Self-esteem" by Nathaniel Branden


  1. Katrice says:

    Greetings! Very helpful advice in this particular article!
    It is the little changes that make the biggest changes. Thanks a lot for

  2. Virginio says:

    thank you for your feedback

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