They are just words.

Stickers, titles, empty tins, all on which we write words. But inside those tin cans, there are different meanings for different people. From these differences, but above all, the incapacity to accept them and share them, many civil, family and professional conflicts emerge.

People start seeing each other and think that “respect”, “fun”, “family” are values that are shared by all, but very few people dig deep in order to understand what satisfies these values, what needs to be put in the tin to satisfy the next person.

You say that you love fun, and you feel that this value is satisfied when you are sat at a table with friends.
You partner also loves fun, but feels that this is accomplished when going away for the weekend.

Who loves fun more than the other? Both of them. But when neither person digs deep, relationships get worse, and what is especially awful is that it almost always happens unwittingly.

What does “negro” mean?

“But I dig them all the way. They are premium people.”, says Alex

“You shouldn’t use that word”, replies Jonathan

to which Alex responds: “What is wrong with the Negroes?”

It clearly emerges that the problem is not the “word negro”, but the meaning that they are both attributing to it. Alex, an Ukrainian, and expert in finding his own feet, has lived a life lacking in experiences and does not know about the “ugliness” of the apartheid, the abuse inflicted upon the Afro-Americans. He cannot begin to imagine that inside that tin, with the label “Negro”, there is something negative and racist, because for him a “Negro” is a different person in a positive sense.

On the contrary, Jonathan has associated the hate of white people to the word “Negro”, the uncalled for unkindness of unscrupulous people, and would prefer Alex to use a more delicate and less offensive word.

But they are just words, they carry the weight that they have. We should always have the flexibility to get to know the experiences of another person better. This will improve relations, as well as ourselves. But often we think we know it all.

But often we judge people from by their appearance. Oops, did I say “we”? What, all of us? No, not everyone. Most of us are probably flexible people, who do not give quick answers and judgements, but you must let me say, that most of us have “defective vocabulary” in interpreting life.

Many attribute meanings that they want to “words”, what is more comfortable to them. More than often, the right meaning is the one that relieves me from any responsibility and passes it to someone else.
We see it everyday in politics. All the nice words, “employment”, “work”, “dignity”, “pensions”, but people are tired of hearing them. It is not the tin we want to see, it’s what is inside that makes the difference!

Therefore, I wrote this post to make you think deeper about things, and not to take things for granted. Being open to differences is a treasure to have, and being as we live in abundance, we often decide to listen to what appeals to us most. It is a real shame.

Jonathan should accept the word “Negro” once he has discovered that for Alex the word means “premium”

like Alex should accept that there are “women accountants and homosexual garbage men”.

If we want to improve, progress and be united, the only way is to be “flexible” and “understanding”.

Therefore, feel free to share this post, even if you do not agree with my opinion. 🙂



“… and in case I don’t see ya

good afternoon, good evening and good night!”…

(The Truman Show)


Buy the film

Buy the recommended book

"Everything is Illuminated" A film by Liev Schreiber. With Elijah Wood, Boris Leskin, Eugene Hutz –. USA, 2005

"Seven Habits of Highly Successful People" by Stephen R. Covey

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