Why can’t people achieve their dreams? Because of interferences. As a radio channel unable to tune into the right signal, our efforts are often frustrated by interferences.

Energy, focus, expertise and will, all boycotted by interferences. For example, somebody spends a lifetime jumping from a job to another, somebody has been fighting for years to achieve happiness, but he cannot, it’s like tilting at windmills.

Interferences can be both internal and external, it’s not difficult to tell the difference. The internal ones come from our thoughts, from our idea about how the world works and above all from our past experiences (happened both when we were kids and when we were adults).

The external ones come from other people, their point of view, beliefs and experiences they try to pour on us, as if the damage they’ve done to themselves it’s not enough. Before believing them, we should ask ourselves if listening what people think is really useful.

This clip from the film “A walk to remember” is an example of what people know about you: that’s usually an abstraction of what they see.

Landon: But I do. I do. We have all the same classes since kindergarten. Why, you’re Jamie Sullivan. You sit at lunch table seven. It’s not the reject table, but it’s definitely self-exile territory. You have exactly one sweater. You look at your feet when you walk. And for fun, you tutor on weekends… and hang out with the Stars and Planets kids. How’s that sound?

Jamie: Fairly predictable. Nothing I haven’t heard before.

Landon: You don’t care what people think?

Jamie: No!

People judge by our behavior, it’s the only part of us that is so predictable and clear that there’s no need to interpret. So they start judging and giving advice. What do they know about us?

Do they know what our great values are?

Do they know what makes us happy? Do they know what out talents are?

So why should we take an advice (interference) from other people, if the advice is based only on what they can see about us, or worse, on their own experiences?

For example, nobody knows enough to predict the success of a feat, not even who has already accomplished it. It can be useful to listen his/her story and learn from his/her success or failure, but that will never be our story. There are lots of variables, changed after his/her feat was accomplished:

  • You could be more or less capable
  • The timing could be better or worse
  • You could be more or less prepared when the defining moment arrives
  • The tools he/she used could be obsolete now

One thing’s for sure: people who have a self-pitying attitude unlikely get results, so it’s worth understanding what successful people “think”, what beliefs make them succeed, hanging out with them and knowing their principles. That’s the only worthwhile interference.

Clear up the buzz, think with your own mind and work to have a deep understanding of what makes you happy. A day you will strongly reply, as Jamie does:

Landon: You don’t care what people think?

Jamie: No!

Buy the film


“A Walk to Remember“ A film by Adam Shankman, with Shane West, Mandy Moore, Peter Coyote, Daryl Hannah. USA, 2002

Buy the recommended book


“Social Phobia Hardcover” by John R. Marshall


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