Friendship and fear

Richard Bandler once said: “If you want to get people to stop being afraid, get them to laugh!“. This is an excellent spell that Professor Lupin repeats in the Harry Potter saga.

Fear is inversely proportional to laughter. So, if in this world we are afraid, it is because we laugh too little. But if we laugh a little, then we are afraid. The good news is that, unlike “fear”, laughing is under our full control. To reverse the trend, it would be better for everyone to laugh a little more!

We can watch a comedy film, meet a friend who makes us laugh out loud, or if you want, you can use your imagination to make our fears ridiculous. You can embellish them or transform them like in Harry Potter; and I assure you that it is possible in real life.

My friends who study and apply NLP, know that fear is often a “voice” in our heads, or an “image” in actual size that is particularly disturbing. Neurologically, these self-produced stimuli affect the chemistry of the brain that protects us in advance with protective and limiting behaviour. This explains why our results are a reflection of our fears.

To erase them from our minds, besides being impossible, would be very dangerous, because thanks to them we stop ourselves from jumping into a fire, or hurling ourselves from a 5th floor. Fears control our inhibitions and keep us alive. However, we should be able to use them to our advantage, and this is actually possible.

In the scene Professor Lupin invites his students to transform mental images into something ridiculous. Nevil imagines Professor Snape dressed like his grandmother, Ron puts roller-skates on a giant spider, and his friend transforms a cobra into a clown. Everyone then makes fun of themselves and of their own mind, so it’s nice to know that we can take back control of our mind whenever we want it.

“You see, the incantation alone is not enough. What really finishes a Boggart off is…laughter. You need to force it to assume a shape you find truly amusing”.

Another example of the same principle can be found in the movie “The King’s Speech“: we have to turn our fears into our best ally. In a scene from the movie, King George IV is terrified of stuttering during a speech to the nation, and so he manages to imagine his mentor as a conductor and his speech like a symphony. As if by magic, the anxiety disappears, and security takes its place.

Unfortunately, we are often surrounded by “Boggarts” and we are laughing less and less. So my thoughts go out to Mario, my friend. It is impossible for me not to laugh when I think about him, we laugh all the time when we are together, despite everything, that just thinking of him positively affects my mood. Therefore, if we are to let our imagination get away with is, then I would like to think of what Martin Luther King said: “One day, fear knocked on the door, courage got up and went to open it and saw that there was nobody there“, replacing “courage” and “friend.”

Friends give us strength. They are the ones who encourage us and make us laugh! With a friend at your side the future is less frightening.

“… and in case I don’t see ya…

good afternoon, good evening and good night!”…

(The Truman Show)

Virginio