Let go the expectations, stop reproaches, reset the volume of your internal dialogue. There is no need to victimize yourself, no need to blame yourself. You most be exausted, self-pity is so tiring.
If you have no talent disciplining yourself would only increase the frustration. Rather, look for what makes your heart beat, your true talents, uniqueness.
A world where everyone tells the truth. Can you imagine it? Cinema introduces "The invention of lying", a film that narrates the origin of the first lie in a country where people just do not know how to lie.