Opening your eyes to resonance and change

Based on a true story, “The Blind Side” is a movie full of teaching about trust in relationships and in learning processes.

In this scene we see the coach of the football team and Leigh Anne (Michael’s adoptive mother). It is interesting to see their differences and to study the effects of their communication styles and leadership that they both put in place.

The message given by the coach to Michael and to the group is a negative one, as it lacks empathy, he points out the errors, he cannot and does not want to understand the feelings of the others (characteristics seen in a dissonant style of leadership). On the contrary, Leigh Anne (Sandra Bullock) “resonates” positive feelings in Michael that are associated to her protective instinct towards the family, and therefore influences his performance. We find in her communication style some features that are related to a resonant style of leadership.

In particular, the dialogue between Leigh Anne and Michael denotes the possibility of reaching a goal, expressed in a clear and non-controversial way:

“Tony è is your quarterback. You protect his blindside. When you look at him, think of me. How you have my back. How you have his.”

There is this dimension of “we as a family,” and therefore, the enhancement of the group, which together can overcome limitations and achieve goals: “This team is your family. And you have to protect them from those guys.”

It is not just about reacting to the situation: everything is permeated by a sense of proactiveness and faith in one another.

Richard E. Boyatzis, one of the leading experts on global leadership and emotional intelligence, explains how you can be a resonant leader (in relationships, in teams, in companies) through three key elements:

1) full awareness of your inner self and the world around you;

2) hope, that is a positive outlook towards the future; and finally, a valuable talent,

3) compassion, deemed as the ability to understand others.

One way that can help you develop a resonant leadership is by making a point about your emotional intelligence. Boyatzis and McKee propose a path of self-directed learning that is carried out in five stages, and are called “discoveries“. Every discovery highlights a gap that increases your motivation to learn. To do this, you must acknowledge that it is necessary to change and embark on a deliberate path that is to be pursued in the company of trusted people (mentors, coaches, co-workers, family members) .Take such resonant leaders as examples and study their behaviour, actions and developments , and this helps in the process of self-directed learning and to achieve full awareness of yourself and others. If you manage to succeed in this process, your leadership will be strengthened.

“The Blind Side” shows us that a good leader comes from within: that it is worth actively looking for it within ourselves, and opening our eyes to our potential, strengths and weaknesses. As Michael Oher concludes, in a deep monologue of the film, you should hope for courage and pursue honour. And maybe hope for someone to tell you how to have a little of one and a bit of the other …

Valentina Specchio

“… and in case I don’t see ya…

good afternoon, good evening and good night!”…

(The Truman Show)

Virginio